The last two days have been the best two days and the worst two days.
It started on Tuesday when my caseworker called me to tell me that they were confirming my court date Wednesday morning, that it would probably be XX of December but I need to wait for her confirmation before I buy the plane tickets. One last thing, it could be very last minute, "Could I be prepared to leave on Thursday?"
I can't even begin to put into words the emotional watershed that came after that call.
I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't sad by any means, just completely overwhelmed by emotions and the fact that YES, I was finally going to meet my daughter! It was like exhaling after holding my breathe for close to 3 years.
Then, I started to panic. How in the world would I get everything accomplished before Thursday???
I called my friend Mer and asked her to send me a packing list. I texted my friend Rudisell to help me with school. I called my mom and asked her to come help me. I called the travel agent to get prices. It was a flurry of activity and my mind was on a sit-n-spin going 100 miles a minute. I broke down and cried 4 times in Target while my mom hugged me. It was the ugly, loud, sobbing kind of cry. A gazillion thoughts were racing through my mind and no matter how hard I prayed or tried to focus, I just couldn't.
It was a complete emotional release.
I woke up Wednesday to a raging migraine that lasted two days. The kind that my prescription medicine didn't even make a dent in the pain. I know my triggers well, and stress is one of them. Even though this is such an amazing thing, my body reacted by knocking my butt out for 2 days. I couldn't have prepared if I tried. And the worst part is that I didn't want to be like this flying or meeting MG. I am a sensitive person by nature, so I already know I'm going to have to pray extra hard that I don't lose it when I meet M. I want the staff to know she's coming to a good home, to mama who loves her beyond words, but not to an emotional wreck.
Wednesday came and went and still no confirmation. I started to worry and panic- was this a false alarm? Again? I was also stressing out because all of tickets I had been able to get were for Saturday morning in order to be there before the court date and to have some time to bond with MG.
Today while I was lying in pain, praying that I would get confirmation so that I could leave on Saturday morning, my caseworker called.
She had my confirmed court date.
She had my confirmed court date.
She had my confirmed court date.
I couldn't believe it. I think I'm still in shock! But the most amazing thing happened; I felt completely bathed in peace. All the panic, stress, uncertainty just left my body. And about 45 minutes after that call, so did my migraine.
I was able to accomplish the major tasks today:
I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be able to spend 3-4 days with her, all by myself.
I cannot wait!
When I put the tree up this year, it was bittersweet. I remember last year I thought it would be the last year I did it alone.
And then this year, she still isn't here.
But next year? well, it's going to ROCK!!!
In the meantime, I'm concentrating on my daily lists I made.
I'm a list person for sure. I need the satisfaction of crossing things off.
I'm organizing all the stuff I'm bringing for her, and my mom and I found these awesome slippers the night I cried my way through Target. They are so obnoxious I just had to have them.
I can't wait to see her sweet, little feet in them!
To top it all off, my kindred spirit Mer sent me the BEST news. The visa re-entry policy that required me to wait 60 days before returning has been lifted!!!!!
What that means is that I could very possibly be returning to bring her home within those 60 days.
At court, I will receive verbal guardianship. That paperwork has to be processed through the courts. Once that is finished, the written guardianship is sent to my agency and her orphanage. The orphanage will use that paperwork to apply for her passport.
Once her passport comes in, I get to take custody of her!!!!!
I'm praying that I will return for her by the end of January.
If you think about it, would you please pray this same prayer?
Wow. I didn't want your post to end. What a wonderful Christmas present. I can wait to see pics of you holding your sweet girl. I will be praying hard for you both. I dreamt for the first time of holding my little Indian princess last night. Maybe that was a sign for you.ReplyDelete
Wooohoooo!!!!!!! I am over-the-top excited over here!!!!!!!!!!!ReplyDelete
So, so excited for you!!! This will be a life-changing trip for you both . . . I will be praying, praying, praying!ReplyDelete
I am driving back from a funeral in Delaware with George and Brantley and we've been checking Facebook off and on waiting for an update. I squealed when I saw it!! We are all SO excited for you and you can count on us being mighty prayer warriors for you! I cannot wait to see pictures and hear about her!! Sending hugs and prayers to you and your sweet daughter!!!ReplyDelete
I love it!!! I am so happy for you. Looking forward to meeting our new neighbor one sweet day. How fun would it be to take M sledding? OMG. The fun you 2 will have. Have a safe, wonderful trip.ReplyDelete
Oh, Kristen.....I feel like I lived through a piece of this with you the past couple of days. Nothing like what you felt like....but WOW...it was stressful and joyful all at the same time. I AM BEYOND HAPPY FOR YOU. And I am hoping that my body STARTS reacting normally now, too. (hee hee) Although, I am thinking that when you are gone, I'm going to be FREAKING out again.... First, how will I go that many days without talking to you. (I know we'll Skype....but still.) Second, I'm going to be so excited for you I don't think I'll sleep!!!! But that's okay, that will just mean I'll be praying like crazy for you when I'm awake. WHICH WILL BE ALL THE TIME. :) Love you like crazy.ReplyDelete
Oh. my. goodness. And to think I almost went to bed without checking in on news for you ;-) I'm so excited that you get to spend such precious time with her. He gives good gifts! Safe travels.ReplyDelete
Kristen I am very excitet for you. It is great. Very soon you can hold your sweet girl. I am praying for a fast process now. All the best for your travel and the first magic meeting.ReplyDelete
So exciting Grae! So happy for you and I can't waitReplyDelete
I'm getting old... Where did my previous comment go... Kristen, I am so thrilled that you will be holding your baby girl soon. I'm so happy for you. I'll be praying so hard for you and MG. I wish I could send a tight hug to you via this blog!ReplyDelete
OH YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO excited for you!!! YAY!!!!!! What a WONDERFUL new year it will be for you! And, when our time comes to travel, you have to share a list of what you found you needed :)ReplyDelete
Whoo Hoo!!! Can't even begin to imagine the excitement you are feeling. Heck, I'm feeling it for you!ReplyDelete
Such fabulous news. Yay Hooray!
WONDERFUL news!!!! And I understand crying and breaking down in public places. :) So excited for you!ReplyDelete
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