Due Date :)

Exactly a year ago today on December 14, 2011, Sarah found my blog and contacted me.  She didn't even know me but told me she had a back up plan for me to be able to go through with Munni's adoption.  This was exactly one month after Agency A told me that they couldn't complete MG's adoption.  

A year later, December 14th 2012,  I will be boarding a plane to meet my daughter.

The time between when I received that email from Agency A and when Sarah contacted me, I was holding on to faith.  It was all I had.  Every time I would start to get discouraged or started thinking negative thoughts, I reminded myself of how I felt the very first time I saw Munni's face, the electrical current that ran through my body, and the confirmation in prayer when I heard the Lord speak, "yes- she is the one I have intended for you."  

I wasn't always good at staying in faith though.  One specific night when I was decorating my Christmas tree, before Sarah had contacted me, I was really fighting against discouragement.  I kept praying and praying.  I always play Christmas music when I put up my tree, you know, to help with the Christmas Spirit and all.  Well, at this particular time, I wasn't feelin' the Christmas Spirit.  I was feeling more like Scrooge.  And then a song from Handel's Messiah came on.  I must have heard this song hundreds of times growing up, but in that moment it spoke to me like no other.  It's from Isaiah 40:4

"Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain."

I started to cry because I felt like Jesus was telling me that HE was clearing the path for me to bring Munni home.

And look where I am today.  I get overcome with emotion thinking about it, thinking about all that he did - all the mountains he flattened, the low points where he raised me up, all the twisting and winding around that led me straight to Munni.  It absolutely blows me away.

To top things off, when I first applied for the Nepal program way back in January of 2010, I prayed that the Lord would give me a due date.  There were so many unknowns and I asked if he was willing, could he please just give me a date, something to hold out for hope?

December 12 immediately flashed into my mind.  I emailed my friend who had been praying for me since the beginning of my adoption journey and told her the "due date."  Well, August 6th, 2010 Nepal was closed for international adoption.  I remember that December was very dark and bitter for me.  I scoffed at God and thought, "Thanks a lot for giving me hope for nothing."

I was so short-sighted.

You see, He had intended all along for my due date to be December 12.  It just took Him time to soften my heart, and time for me to surrender completely to him- to be open to the child HE had for me instead of my ideas. 

If you would have asked me when I very first started out on this journey if I would consider an older child, I would have told you that you were crazy.  I'm being honest.  I was so myopic and selfish and  misinformed that I would have missed out on the most beautiful little girl.  In the last couple of weeks, I've had a complete emotional release because I still can't believe that God has blessed me so much that I get to be her mama.  

And God made good on his promise.  My due date is December 2012.  A December that I will never forget!