DOH! I can't believe that 3 years in I would slip up at such a critical juncture in MG's adoption. Yes, I am guilty of such a rookie move. I allowed myself to get excited and *believe* that what was said would come to pass. Isn't that sad? I've been reduced to always having somewhat of a guard up. I know it's bad because I'm supposed to have faith, but after awhile, it's very challenging to keep yo head up (thanks Tupac). Anyway, I didn't receive the Court Affadavit this week like what was expected. I think it's more maddening because I'm SO CLOSE it's as if I can smell the scents of her country. UGH!
Last night while wallowing in self pity, the Lord gently reminded me of his omnipotence and the miracles that he has provided thus far:
"Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power. I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles. Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; I will proclaim your greatness. Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness; they will sing with joy about your righteousness." - Psalm 145:3-7
Funny that's the verse he showed me because just this week I had two conversations with two different people about just how miraculous her adoption has been.
The first was with a co-worker. We were talking about how I've written everything down for MG so that one day, she can see very clearly that God had a plan for her! My colleague said, "Isn't is amazing that she has been prayed for by so many people, even years before you knew exactly who she was?" Amen, sister, amen!
The second conversation was with a friend who had been living out of the country for awhile. We were catching up on life and I was able to share with him about how crazily things have fallen into place for her adoption and how so many prayers have been answered and miracles occurred.
I told him how I had specifically prayed that someone I knew would win the lottery so that they could help when I was scrambling to get her referral fee. Turns out my best-friend from high school won an office pool when the lottery was the biggest it's ever been in the history of the lotto. God did that.
I told him how MG showed up in my caseworker's daughter's referral picture after I had been trying to pursue her adoption with another agency, and that agency told me there was no way I would be able to adopt her. God did that.
I told him how an attorney friend with whom I hadn't spoken for over 3 years totally hooked it up by notarizing her CSR so that I didn't have to go through a gazillion hoops getting every page certified. At no charge. God did that.
I told him how I received my NOC in record time. God did that.
I told him how I've made the MOST amazing friends who love and pray for me and I for them and how we are in our journeys together. God did that.
I told him how I've been so completely humbled by everyone's generosity, prayers, and support. I would never be able to handle this without that!!! God did that.
I told him how I boldly asked God to award me the grant for the maximum amount of $7500. This amount would cover the costs of the two trips I have to make. I prayed this in secret. On July 10th, God did that.
That's just what I told my friend. I thought about all the other things along the way and realized that MG is in the palm of his hand and I will meet her in his perfect timing. He loves her more than I ever could and he has an amazing plan for her life.
Now instead of whining, I will proclaim God's greatness and rest in his peace!