Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Mustard Seed

The last couple of weeks I've been feeling all hostile inside, frustrated with the things that were going wrong, the blatant attacks from the jackass enemy,  and  I could feel myself about to go all D-Generation X on someone when the illness descended upon me.  I really believe it was from God.  And for good reason.  I was laid out for 5 days straight- fever, cold, and a nasty, viral cough that made me sound like I had been smoking a carton of menthols daily since the day I was born.  It was during my malaise that I realized AGAIN that it's not up to me to get things accomplished.  I was reading in Matthew one of Jesus' snazzy little metaphors and it really struck me.

"You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them.  "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move.  Nothing would be impossible."  -  Matthew 17:20

First he tells them that they don't have enough faith and then proceeds to tell them if they had it the size of a mustard seed they could move a mountain.  Huh?  The mustard seed was the smallest thing imaginable.  So if faith even as small or underdeveloped as a mustard seed  is sufficient to move mountains, then I realized I must still be relying on MY own ability. Big mistake.  The more I thought about this verse I realized that it only takes a little bit of faith, the amount of a tiny mustard seed, BUT the amount that trusts in God's power.  Chalk up another "a-ha!" moment for me!  Right there in my weakened, sickly state, I again surrendered the whole process and all of the stress to God and told him, Your will be done in Your timing.

I don't know what it is about surrender, but man it feels good.  And it just so happens that I have some good turn-of-events-news- since the surrender moment!


That represents the number of families waiting to get their visas approved.  That's right- ZERO!!!  Every single pipeline family has received their visa and if not already home, they are on their way home! AND NOT ONE SINGLE CASE OF FRAUD WAS FOUND!!!!!  Now, well, I don't know.  I do know that I need your prayers more than ever because I believe that there is a major spiritual battle going on.  There are two main organizations that have had a role in policy making and these organizations happen to have a history of being very anti-adoption when it comes to international adoption.  They think it would be better for a child to grow up in an orphanage and maintain his/her culture than to grow up in a family that is not of his/her country of origin.  I have to really exhale before I start this conversation.  You see, I am a language teacher.  I "get" the whole culture thing and understand how important it is.  However, culture evolves- like language, like technology, like life...... so at what point does culture supersede the right of a child to grow up in a family when there is no family in his/her culture willing/able to adopt that child?  Call me crazy but I think family trumps culture. Every time.  

The Congo

Signed.  Sealed.  Delivered!  My dossier has been sent in and I am "officially" on the list for a baby boy!  What this really means is that I am OFFICIALLY WAITING!!!!!!  Next comes a referral:)  You know, the day when I get "the call" for the referral of a baby.  Once I accept the referral, I will fill out a tribunal letter, wait some more and then travel to pick him up!!  I have no idea of where I am on the list and honestly, I don't want to know.  I think it's better for me to not know and to just take it one day at a time, praying for baby Joaquin, trusting that I will get the call in God's perfect timing!  Let's just say that I feel like I'm going to have a really great summer!

Thank you so much to everyone who has been sending me support both financially and emotionally!  I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to get a letter of encouragement in the mail!  It makes my day!  I've saved every single one so that one day, these little ones will be able to look back and see everyone who was cheering them on!

On the eve of cinco de mayo-


  1. I am just seeing this Kristen. How wonderful on both accounts. You are getting closer. I can't wait to meet your new little ones. You are in my prayers.

  2. You are an amazing person, and you will be a fantastic mother. I can't wait to see the outcome of this fantastic journey that you have set out on!