Saturday, July 27, 2013

Little Sister :)

Funny how you'd think I would learn :)  God is so, so patient with me as he gently nudges and guides me on the path he has designed for me.  It's as if he has this wonderful journey laid out for me and I keep getting sidetracked by my own desires.  Then, he quietly whispers, "this way, Kristen" and I see all along how he has been lining things up to bring me where I am today.

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mom.  The desire for motherhood was/is so strong.  When I first started on my adoption journey, I wanted a little baby.  I think that's a very natural desire.  But, God had different plans for me.  He allowed things to happen that kept me from getting a baby and used those things to change my heart.  I'm SO thankful he did because I can't even begin to imagine life without Munni.  She has been the biggest blessing and most incredible miracle that has ever happened to me.

Back in March, a bunch of Ind*a mamas came out to Ohio.  It was an amazing week of fellowship, love, and encouragement.  It was also another life changing time for me.  Up until that week, I swore I would never do another Ind*a adoption.  It was extremely difficult and I couldn't imagine putting myself through that again.  And then I saw a little boy's face on my case worker's waiting children's list.    He awakened the fire within me.   He opened the door in my heart to Ind*a once again and the passion I have for that country was revived.  Munni and I prayed for that little boy for a month.  With each passing day that we prayed for him, a vision and hope grew deep inside my heart.  About 5 weeks later, we found out that he had already been matched with a family.  I was very happy for the little boy but I also was really sad.  I realized at that moment that God wasn't finished with me and Ind*a :)

I still had the desire to be a mom to a baby boy, Joaquin.  I knew that God led me away from the Congo.  Yes, the need there is great and I applaud the families who are still pursing Congo adoption.  For me, I knew that door was closed.  I was feeling in limbo.  It wasn't a good feeling.  I kept praying and praying about where to go.  I prayed about domestic.  I prayed about other countries.  I just kept praying.  In June, I ended up having a conversation with the agency I was using for Congo about their pilot program to Niger.  It's very new and for right now, it's for babies.  It seemed like a perfect fit.  The women were having a meeting about it and told me they would know by the end of July if I could be a part of it.

About 2 weeks ago, I had a conversation with my Ind*a caseworker.  Since all of my adoption paperwork was stolen, I need some letters written so that I can finalize Munni's adoption stateside.  We started talking about Ind*a, the need of the children, the process, and all things Ind*a adoption.  I told her that I always have a flame for Ind*a- sometimes it's just a pilot light but every time I talk to her, it becomes a forest fire.  I knew from back in March that I still have a valid dossier for Ind*a.  That is HUGE.  I did more work for my dossier than I did for my masters degree!  I'm not even joking!
Anyway, we talked and talked and I knew God was leading me back to India.  She went on vacation and I told her I would pray some more and let her know when she was back.

I prayed.  And prayed.  And prayed.  The funny thing about Motherhood is the innate ability to look beyond yourself and to put your children's needs first.  I realized that it's not about me and my desire to have a baby.  It's about Munni and what would be best for her in the long run.  My sister all along has been advocating for me to make my second adoption another older child adoption.  She thought it would be difficult to have such a wide age range between the two.  The more I prayed about it, the more I realized I needed to completely surrender my "ideas" and to really listen and follow God's leading.  I was about 98% sure I would pursue Ind*a again, but the Niger option was still lingering.  About 2 days after I talked to my Ind*a caseworker, I heard back from the agency of the Niger program.  They said they *might* be able to squeeze me in the pilot program at the end but it wouldn't be for at least another 9 months.  The funny thing is that I wasn't sad when I got the email.  I was happy.  Actually, I was ecstatic!!!  I knew that was the last answer to my prayers.  It shut the door on Africa and opened up wide the path back to Ind*a.   I feel such an overwhelming peace.  I feel so good that Munni will have a sister who shares her heritage and culture.

So where it stands, I need to finalize Munni's adoption, update my home study, and file my I-800a.  My caseworker will be looking for a little sister off of the special needs waiting list.  She doesn't think it will be long for me to be matched.  In terms of how long the whole process will take, well, it is Ind*a so that's anybody's guess :)  I am THRILLED to be on this journey again.   I love all of the connections I've made with the other Ind*a mamas and I'm so happy to be going through this again with all of them.  The best part though?  I will bring Munni with me when I go to get her little sister.  I am overjoyed at the thought of her being able to be a part of this and to experience the love growing in our hearts for a little sister whose face we have yet to see :)

We will definitely need a ton of prayer along the way, so if you are up for another prayer journey, we would appreciate your prayers!!!


  1. Wooohoooo. Already praying for you. I am so excited for you!!!!!!

  2. Love, love the path God has you on. Yahooooo!

  3. That's awesome! I have a passion for Ind*a too, and I'm encouraged to see you adopt a second time from there.

  4. Goosebumps! Many prayers for you both through this journey!

  5. I will be praying for you. I think it is great your daughters will share the same heritage. Muni will make a great big sister. I am so glad you shared this news. Hope the paperwork goes as smoothly and quickly as adoption paperwork can!!!

  6. Congratulations! We are so excited for you and Munni! We will be praying that God would lead you in His perfect plan and timing for your family.

  7. Great news. Somehow in all the flurry, I had a feeling this is the path that you would pursue. I am a "signs" person too and explored many of the options that you have, always coming back to Ind*a as well. I look at family portraits of others' broods of various colors and love the way those family look, but ours just seems right to be all from one country. Or at least for now! I look forward to following your next journey!


  8. I don't know how I missed this post (with all of my computer/blog/FB stalking!) . . . but I am overjoyed for you and Munni. There's no doubt in my mind that seeing what adoption looks like from this side will continue the healing process for her heart -- and that your next child will benefit so much from your mothering love and from having Munni for a big sister.

  9. So exciting!!

    Praying that God makes the road clear at each step you need to take!