Sunday, March 31, 2013

Hard

The last couple of months I have been struggling with a decision.  I wasn't having any peace about the situation and more and more information was coming to light.  I have been praying and praying about it and finally came to a place of acceptance.

Yesterday, I officially withdrew from the Congo program.  They are refunding the small application fee I paid.   What the director said to me in response to my email further confirmed that this was the right decision.

I am very aware of how international adoption works and how information gets around, therefore; I will not be publicly stating why I chose to leave.  The DRC has a great, great need for adoptive parents.... and that is why it was really difficult for me to leave.  I will say that my personal journey and experiences with IA and the countries I've attempted to adopt from has a lot to do with it.  If you are contemplating adopting from the DRC or are in the program and would like to know my reasons for withdrawing, I am more than willing to share via email :)

I also know that the Lord isn't finished growing my family :)  I'm not sure where he will lead me, but one thing I've learned is that he moves mountains when I throw off my ideas and dreams and open my arms to his.  Munni wants a little brother and we pray for him every night, wherever he may be.

Today on Easter Sunday as we were standing in church singing, I was holding Munni and I watched her trying to sing along.  I got so choked up.  She is such a blessing to me and an amazing reminder of God's love.  Even though the decision to leave the Congo was a difficult one, I feel that I am in a really great season of my life right now.  We've finally had a week without any medical appointments and WOW what an amazing week it's been!  She and I doing really great growing in our relationship.  I feel like everyday is Christmas with her, because each day I learn so many new things about her - what a joy!!!

I know God is faithful and I know he will lead me....

9 comments:

  1. God is faithful and He will lead you. your journey is being written by Him and it is a beautiful one. Everyone should completely respect your decision. I know it was not made lightly. You are a part of this adoption community and we love you and are with you every step!

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  2. Love you both! Look at her scrunched up face in that pic...silly girl making faces again. :))
    Praying for your little boy too...wherever he may be.

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  3. Love the photo of the two of you. Will be emailing you. Happy Easter!
    Elizabeth

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  4. Arrrggghhh....I just can't comment on my iphone. I left one hours ago, but it didn't go through. :) I loooove that you are at peace. I think it is such a testimony that you are exactly where the Lord wants you to be. I cannot wait to see where He is taking you next!!!! Wherever it is, it will be beautiful!!!!!

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  5. I'm sure that was a very difficult decision to make -- especially when you've seen the need so clearly. But I love your attitude of openness to what God has planned . . . and I will join you in praying for your future.
    Nancy

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  6. Oh, I know that was such a difficult decision, Kristen! I'm so glad that you have peace and know that God will continue to lead you.

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  7. A hard decision for sure, but not a wasted wait by any stretch of the imagination. This crossroad affords you the time to enjoy the NOW with Munni and also brings you one step closer to what will be. I can't wait to see what path presents itself next!

    Julie

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