Friday, February 1, 2013

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid

This past week I have been going crazy.   I am so, so, so close to bringing Munni home.  I heard on Monday that the court order had been released and signed, and was being sent to the orphanage.  Today is Friday and it still isn't at the orphanage.  It's about 20 minutes between the two places.  I've decided that their mail system/courier system/whatever system should hook up with Viber.  Seriously, have you ever texted with Viber?  It's like texting at warp speed!  Anyway, all week I was feeling very anxious and with each passing morning that didn't bring news, I was losing sight of the Lord and slipping into bitterness.  Then my good friend Mer reminded me to read page 96 out the Shattering Your Strongholds book that we have been discussing.  It was the perfect medicine I needed.  I bound myself to his mind, his timing, and his power.  It is really quite liberating.  But at the same time, I feel like I've stumbled upon a lie.

I know people mean well when they say, "God's Timing is Perfect!"  "You will be reunited with Munni at God's Perfect Timing!"  "This is all part of God's Perfect Plan for you two!"  But I disagree.  You see, I don't think for one second that is was God's Perfect Plan for Munni to grow up without her biological parents.  I don't think it was God's Perfect Plan for whoever did those things to her that left scars to tell the story.  I don't think it was God's Perfect Plan that someone felt they needed to abandon her.  I don't think it's God's Perfect Timing that she has been in the orphanage for 3.5 years.  I don't think it's God's Perfect Timing that it took me two years to be open to adopting an older child while she sat in the orphanage waiting for someone to want her.  I don't think it's God's Perfect Timing that I was strung along for six months with the first agency trying to adopt her only to be told "no."  I don't think it's God's Perfect Timing that it's taken 7 weeks so far to process a piece of paper.

You know what else I don't think is God's Perfect Timing?  I don't think it was God's Perfect Timing that Nepal closed adoptions when it did.  I don't think it was God's Perfect Timing that I started my Congo adoption in September of 2010 and finally made it to the number #1 spot in May of 2012 only to find copious amounts of unethical actions from my agency.  I don't think it's God's Perfect Timing that the US Department of State just visited Kinshasa and is now (rightfully) enforcing investigations that will prolong the waiting from I-600 to visa for 3-6 months.  I don't think it is God's Perfect Timing that those children suffer and wait one minute longer to be with their forever family, receiving love, nutrition, and medical care that is needed.  I don't think it's God's Perfect Timing that I had to return Munni to the orphanage, look her in the eye as I left, so that she could wait two more months for me to come back for her.  

Everyone kept talking about God's Perfect Timing but I couldn't drink this Kool-Aid.   I couldn't swallow it because I couldn't recall a specific verse where it states, "God's Timing is Perfect."  It was B-U-G-G-I-N-G me so I got out my concordance (did I just date myself?)  Then I went to Google.  And so far, I haven't found "that" verse.  But you know what I did find?  I was reminded that we live in a fallen world, full of selfish, egotistical, corrupt, evil, self-serving, lazy, incompetent human beings with FREE WILL.  Free will to not sign a paper in a timely fashion.  Free will to force children to lie about their ages.  Free will to charge for services that shouldn't require a fee.  Free will to falsify documents.  Free will to coerce parents to relinquish their children.  Free will to rape women.  Free will to torture children.  Free will to lie, cheat, and steal.  Free will to believe wrong things.  Free will to make wrong choices.  Free will to not do the right thing.  With all this Free Will bouncing around, we  are subjected to the consequences of it.  We wait because of choices other people, including ourselves, have made.

 And that's where the beauty of the Lord is revealed.  He knows we are screwed up and living in a screwed up place.  So during those times, he offers us a respite.  He promises us that:

He will renew our strength (Isaiah 40:31)
Though it linger, it will certainly come (Habakkuk 2:3)
He will give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)
He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28)
He will make our righteousness shine like the new day sun (Psalm 37)
His power will be made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)
That in due season, we will prosper (Galatians 6:9)
What is impossible to us is possible with Him (Luke 18:27)
Nothing is too hard for Him (Genesis 18:14)
He will be exalted (Psalm 46:10)
He is good to us (Lamentations 3:25)
Evil doers will be cut off (Psalm 37:9)
Suffering will produce endurance, which produces character, which produces hope (Romans 5:3-4)
He will leave us with peace that transcends ALL understanding (John 14:27 and Philippians 4:7)
He is able to do immeasurable more than all we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)

In this last stretch of waiting to bring Munni home, this is the Kool-Aid I choose to drink.  This is the truth.  This is what sustains me and reinforces to me that God IS a loving God; one who is working in a fallen world, with messed up people, and is able to bring beauty from ashes.


  1. That is so good, Kristen...and so true. I was literally just thinking about this today...that the reason things are so messed up is because of peoples' free will...but the Lord is so insanely good He still brings good out of really messed up choices and situations, because He is faithful...and because He LOVES US SO MUCH.... So, even though the waiting for Munni is so not His perfect will, He still is so trustworthy in the wait, and He is still working in the situation for your good and for her good.

  2. I agree that this whole "in God's perfect timing" is not in the Bible!! so true! thank you for sharing!! praying your sweet Munni comes home soon.

  3. My God, my God, my God! The most beautiful and on-point post you have made yet! Wow! I absolutely cannot wait until this blog becomes a published book. Your journey through this process is going to help millions of people come to such a better understanding of who God is, what His love is all about, and how we get to choose how we respond to Him. Wow! This is Greatness.

  4. Kristen, I completely agree! He uses the wait for good, but He would never, no never CAUSE the wait. I wrote about the same thing here:

    With our precious R., I have always believed that it was not that our Father didn't want us to adopt her, but it was because of the sin of those who were in control of the decision that we weren't able to adopt her.

    When I pray for India and the children there I often pray Psalm 82. If you read a commentary on it, it will make perfect sense how it applies in this situation.

    I love you and am thanking our Father that He has you (and Munni) in His hand as you battle along with Him for your sweet girl.

  5. Oh Kristen, I couldn't agree more with you!!! Going into all of this, my husband and I have had many conversations with people and have heard the "Gods perfect plan" type comments, and later have discussed how in a perfect world, our princess's parents would have kept her and loved her and raised her. But since that didn't happen, God is trying his best to guide us to His "plan B", that will be just as wonderful, but just has more fights to bring to reality because of all the other "free will" choices we have to overcome in ourselves and others-and even in our princess, so that we can someday get her to trust us and love us and not have her past hurts define her.

    Love you tons and SO excited-I know I keep saying it, but SOON!!!!!!!! She will be HOME SOON!

  6. Thank you, Kristen!!! Sarah(above) was just sharing this with me yesterday. I have been struggling with faith, patience and how to pray this week for you and the rest of us. I was struck on the free will in India, but we can pray for peoples hearts to be moved, paperwork to be in the right spot, if not miraculously moved to the right place, like M's hand;) and for Him to move outside of time. He will use everything for the good, but I think I want to pray and see His best! Monday is February 4th and we have wondered about that date. Let it be the date of news of His plans, His movement on these kids behalf, and His love for all of us. To His glory. I wish I could say this was a word from Him, but I can't. So we must praise no matter the out come.

  7. You spoke straight to my heart this morning. We have been waiting for a referral from India for 4 months now. We are approved and open to siblings and to older children and to special needs, so I can't figure out why it is taking SO long. I have so many well meaning, loving friends who are giving me the "perfect timing" answer. But I am growing weary of this. Last night I laid in bed and just sobbed. All I could I think was, "God, what was wrong with TODAY? It seemed pretty PERFECT to me. " I am so grateful for your kind and understanding words this morning that redirected my heart and my focus.

  8. Totally agree with you! Those comments drive me batty, although I know they are well-intentioned. It is wrong, wrong, wrong, that things like poverty or a preference for boys create "orphans" in the first place . . . and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that God specializes in redeeming our human messes. Praying my guts out that you hear travel news on Monday . . .

  9. That is so beautifully written and so inspiring, Kristen. I have also been a bit frustrated with the "It's all in God's perfect timing" comments we have received in the past 2.5 years we have been waiting for H. As you said, they mean well, but it doesn't help a lot. Like you, I have also never believed that it was God's plan for our children to be abandoned or relinquished to an orphanage and then taken away from the only home they've ever known and the only culture they understand. I do believe that God matched us up perfectly, though, because He knew that we could help heal each other's pain and loss and grow something beautiful from it all.

  10. What a great perspective to share. We also are waiting for our sweet child,Imani, who is in an orphanage in Kinshasa and have been devistated by the recent changes to the visa process. I've actually been saying "God's timing" but your post gives me a new perspective to consider...thank you. Praying for all of our kids to come home soon.