I received an email today that was very unsettling and brought back remnants of how I felt during the Nepal Crisis. My initial thought was to panic, but I reminded myself that I am trying to stay positive and also that I'm believing that God has Sofia in the palm of his hand. I'm still not sure how all of this is going to pan out but this is what I know so far.
My agency informed me that CARA has pushed back accepting new dossiers until December. This is disappointing since originally they had said it would begin accepting dossiers again after September 30th. Then my agency went on to say that specifically, things have been moving slow in AP (where Sofia is) because of political agitation in the city. I will remind you that this particular state in India has proved difficult in the past to complete adoptions. Furthermore, she added that she didn't know how viable of a program this would be after all...and that she would have to consult with the India program director and get back to me. Yeah. That last part made me want to vomit. I emailed her back and told her that I am 110% committed to bringing Sofia home- that if it takes longer, then that just gives me more time to save more money to pay for her adoption. I also told her that I don't want to give up on her- that I've been praying for her every single day since June 16th-the first time I saw her face. She wrote me back saying she understood and told me that she would see what kind of plan they could devise.
I got this email while I was in school and I did manage to keep it together until the day was over. I talked to my sweet friend in the parking lot after school who reminded me that I don't know what the bigger picture is- and that I have to keep trusting that this is all part of the plan.
When I got home, I spent some time on my front porch praying about everything. I needed a word. A word of confirmation. A word that He has everything under control. A word to not freak out. So, I started reading my bible and stumbled upon this verse:
"When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and raging waves. Suddenly the storm stopped and all was calm. Then he asked them, 'Where is your faith?'" - Luke 8:24-25
I just kind of laughed out loud because I thought how many times during this journey have I felt like I was in the midst of a raging storm? And when they are both finally home, will I look back and think to myself, "where was my faith during that trial?" This has definitely been a battle and sometimes the wounds hurt more but at least I'm learning that it's not up to me and what I'm capable of but that everything is in God's hand and I just need to trust that it is going to work out the way it's supposed to in his perfect timing.
And just to keep things interesting, I also heard from my other agency today. I have moved up on the list! I am now the proud real estate owner of spot #14 on the waiting list!!! Just 3 short weeks ago I was number #17, so I am thrilled to be movin' on up!
Finally, I am begging you to PLEASE, PLEASE pray that Sofia's adoption would go through and that I would get the official match paperwork. She deserves a family of her own. I know that she is safe in the orphanage and her basic needs are being met, but FAMILY is something that no one should be deprived of and it breaks my heart with each passing day that she is missing out on time with her family.
Thank you so much for all of your support!!!