You know how you get a song stuck in your head? and it's usually one that has a really bad hook to it? Well here's a throwback to Patti LaBelle's classic from the 80's "I Got a New Attitude." Well, I got one and a new blog design to go with it!
What it is about our human misery that is seems like we try to one up each other in this category as well? I've been around so many women who, when the conversation turns to pregnancy or childbirth, I always felt badly for the one who had an 'easy' pregnancy or quick labor with no drama because the other moms jumped all over her about how lucky she was then proceeded to list off all the things that went wrong with their situation. It's like it becomes a bidding war on who's experience was worse so they can win the pats on the back.
I realized that there's a subtle undercurrent of this same sensationalism and competition in the adoption world and I was quickly becoming a part of it. I've been following people's blogs who are adopting from the same countries as I am. I caught myself rolling my eyes when one hopeful adoptive mom was lamenting about how long she has had to wait (less than a year) to go and pick up her babies that she received a referral for 6 weeks after she submitted paperwork. It's a slippery, slippery slope to Bitterness Boulevard! I caught myself and thought, "You are such a B*tch!" I found myself having an internal dialogue listing off all the things that have gone wrong or not according to MY plan in this adoption journey, and how long I've been waiting, and how much money I've spent and lost, and blah, blah, blah...I am no different from the women who complained about their horrible pregnancies and birth stories. I should not begrudge anyone their journey. It is their journey. AND, I was her! I remember being fresh on the adoption journey and you want that baby here, NOW. So, I get it- I just forgot it. I needed a slap upside the head.
I still haven't received the match paperwork back from India. But I'm not bitter :) I asked my agency about the families who just completed their adoptions from the same area of India how it worked for them. She told me, and I quote, "it took a LONG time for them to get their match paperwork." Score. Too bad I have a new attitude because I could add that to my arsenal to win my award for the most complicated adoption ever! Tomorrow there is supposed to be a webinar where we receive enlightenment on the process- more info on time frames, etc. I think it's most fortunate for me that I will be teaching class at that time and will instead receive it via email in powerpoint format. Part of my attitude adjustment is that I'm not bankin' on any of this time frame stuff. From here on out, I'm day to day.
So in honor of my new attitude I will leave you with this amazing video- I don't think you will find a finer music video out there!