Progressive Hippie Chick

Yes, I realize that the title of this post is an oxymoron.  However, I believe that there are people out there, like me, who have elements of a hippie personality but no desire to live out of a 1960's VW bus.  I have owned Birkenstocks, tried for months at a time to not wear deodorant, love eating fresh, organic food, buy into some of the conspiracy theories, will let a week or so slide without shaving and enjoy going to the grocery store without wearing make-up.  I am, after all, a child of the 70's.  On the flip side, I don't compost, I barely recycle, I let my car warm up for at least 15 minutes in the winter (I HATE to be cold!), I partake in an occasional Starbucks instead of funding my local coffee shop, and if I ever run into David Beckham, Lenny Kravitz, Chris Cornell, Terrell Owens, or Rafael Marquez, I want full on make-up and my hair did.  I'm vain.  There, I said it.

In an effort to combine the hippie chick lifestyle with my vanity, I've spent the last several months researching topics that might seem too granola for some:  Cloth diapers, adoptive breastfeeding and homemade baby food.  My findings have been quite enlightening and have led me to want to try all 3.

First up, Cloth Diapers.  These are NOT what I used wear!  They've come a long way and they are amazing!  Below are two that I have already purchased for Baby Joaquin.  I wanted to get a feel for what they are like, how easy it is to stuff them, take off, etc.  They are so soft and if I were a baby, I would want something like this next to my butt!  I scoured the internet and finally decided on purchasing them from Just Simply Baby.  Some advantages to look forward to: 1)  Basically ZERO diaper rash  2) overall savings of about $2000  3) studies show cloth diapered babies potty train on average a year before disposable diapered kiddos  4) I can still make a fashion statement! (my vanity still intact!)

kick it up!

Black Bessy Minky

Next on the flower chain, Adoptive Breastfeeding.  I was breast fed so the idea of breastfeeding has always seemed natural to me.  When I found out that as an adoptive mom it is possible to breastfeed, I was excited!  Especially since studies show that in addition to the nutritional and immunity benefits, breastfeeding has a critical significant role in attachment, early brain development and healthy child development overall.  Recently, the role of breast feeding has been cited as a protective factor against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  I know it might seem weird to some, but I am committed to give my babies the best I can give and I believe I have two of the best to give!  I won't flash you my nipples though because, remember, I am vain:)

Last stop, homemade baby food.  I am stoked to do this!  Processed food grosses me out.  For years, I have been on a quest to eat healthy.  I've run the gamut in trying different diets- the Kind Diet, the McDougall plan, The Raw Diet, Vegan, juicing, fasting, cleanses....  I've settled on a vegetarian diet that is high in whole grains, fruits and veggies.  About 6 months ago, I made a commitment to myself to try and cook 90% of what I eat.  I figured that if I got into the habit before the babies get here, it will be a smoother transition to making their food.  I've been getting practice with my dogs.  I stopped feeding them manufactured dog food 2 months ago and started making theirs from scratch.  The health changes I've seen in them are incredible and they are just dogs!  So my DREAM item is featured below, the Beaba Babycook:

I am so hoping that I get this at a baby shower!  Well, that pretty much sums up the last couple months of my internet surfing:)

Nepal

There are 13 pipeline families left waiting to receive visas.  13.  I will confess that I have not allowed myself to even begin to think about how and when I will be able to get Baby Sofía.  I pray for her everyday and also that the government will lift the suspension.  In all of the double investigations (first the governments and then the adoptive parents) there have been no findings of fraud.  I view this as a huge positive.  Please pray that the suspension would be lifted!


The Congo

I am waiting to get my medical report and police state clearance form back.  My dog, Lola, decided on her own that I didn't have enough going on with working two jobs, tracking down crazy paperwork and fundraising.  She took it upon herself to go into my office, pull the ONE thing that I need out of the basket that is right next to my computer, and use it as a chew toy.  A very, expensive chew toy.  She managed to locate my passport and eat half of it.  Just so happens that I needed 2 copies of my passport to send in with my Congo dossier.  I guess she figured I needed to spend $225 on a new chew toy passport.  I'm hoping that the expedited passport will arrive right around the time I get my medical and police reports.  Then, I get to send everything to the CONGO!!  Woo hoo!!!

Don't let her smile fool you, she is one smart cookie!

Ordinary Hero

**CAUTION:  This post contains sensitive and graphic information

My new Ordinary Hero t-shirt!

Speak Up.  This command has come to mean many things to me over the last year or so.  For whom do I speak up?  For what do I speak up?  Do I choose to remain silent when speaking up could be uncomfortable?  Do I choose to do nothing because doing something would be hard?  Or worse, choose to say or do nothing because of my pride? *ouch*  Well, God has been gently guiding me along this adoption  journey and I can say that I've finally arrived at a place where saving a baby's life is more important than my pride, ego, or whatever else you want to call it.  I have arrived at a place where I am asking you to please join me in fundraising to help pay for Baby Joaquin's country fee.  Please don't stop reading at this point because I mentioned money!  I know, asking for money and being asked for money and asking how much money you make and asking how much money you spent on something and asking ANYTHING about money is just awkward.  Money is such a taboo subject when it comes to personals.  I get it.  I've experienced all those things as well and sometimes, I find myself judging the ones who are asking-especially if I think their situation is one I would have handled better.  But, I've also learned that God uses money to humble people and even though it's uncomfortable, I've found that being in a place of humbleness = peace.  Because again, I realize that this whole journey is not about me.  It's about God and how God can move mountains to bring an abandoned baby to a place where he can be in a family surrounded by peace, safety, health, opportunity and love.  Where he can grow up in a family without the daily reality of:

30% survival rate until the age of 6
53% chance of being kidnapped by guerilla soldiers and enslaved by armed groups
46% chance of watching his mother/sisters/aunts/female cousins being raped
23% chance of being forced to rape a female family member
1 in 3 chance of being tortured and/or disfigured
80% chance of being displaced at least 3 times in a 15 year time period
75% chance of having his family's source of income (cattle) stolen
66% chance of witnessing the violent death of a family member
60% chance of having one or more of his family members disappear

It's easy to read past these numbers but I encourage you to try and put faces on these numbers.  For every 10 of your friends who have just had babies, 7 of those sweet lives would not survive their 6th birthday.  For every 3 of your friends, one of them has been tortured, hand cut off, burned, if female, experienced tramatic fistula.  In the Congo, rape is used as a tool for war.  Can you imagine living in a world where for every 10 of your friends, 6 of them have witnessed the violent death of a family member? Or 6 of them have a family member that has simply disappeared?  There are no Amber Alerts in the Congo.  No milk cartons with missing children's faces on them. This is their reality.

So, I've partnered with Ordinary Hero to help defray the cost of adoption.  You can see their button at the top right of my blog.  This organization is awesome!  Please take the time to check them out.  The great part is that whatever you buy from the store, 40% of the sales goes directly to my adoption agency and is allocated towards the legal fees of Baby Joaquin's adoption.  His country fee is $8500.  I'm hoping that this fundraising venture will cover half of that amount.  Ordinary Hero makes it very simple, they have great products, and the shipping is fast!  After you select your item and you reach the checkout page, there will be an "Affiliate" pull down menu.  My name, Kristen Williams, is at the bottom of the list.  Please click on my name.  If you don't click on my name, I don't receive credit for the sale.  The t-shirt I'm wearing in the picture above is a unisex size small.  I wore it the other day and it was quite interesting to see people's reaction.  I had 2 great conversations with strangers just because of the shirt!  If you aren't into t-shirts and want to just donate something to help out the children in Africa, there is a Product Donations For Children In Africa category where you can donate aqua shoes for kids, fleece blankets, raincoats or a combo pack.  I will receive credit for these donations as well as long as you click on my name during the check out.

For some background information so you know I'm not a slacker, I've been saving every penny I've earned from my second job waiting tables in combination with a portion of my teacher paycheck (which, contrary to popular political belief, is not very much!), I just recently picked up another shift, so I will be working 7 days a week from beginning of April until the end of the school year.  I'm willing to make that sacrifice because I know that every extra shift I work is one less day he has to be in an orphanage.  When school lets out, I will be picking up as many extra shifts as possible.  So far, everything has been paid for.  I tried to refinance my house but due to our thriving economy, it was not possible.  But I know God allowed that for a reason and I truly believe it was to get me to this point- where I can ask you to be a part of the bigger story.  Will you be a part of his story?  Would you buy me a round of beers?  Would you pick up my tab if we went out to dinner?  If I were getting married, would you buy me a wedding gift? At this point, if I ever do get married I will E-L-O-P-E so you are off the hook for that one! Is $40 worth saving a innocent and helpless baby's life?  Will you Speak Up?

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves... For the rights of the poor and needy" - Proverbs 31:8-9

The BMV got nothin' on me!

I stood in line for an hour and 15 minutes waiting to renew my tags.  Why didn't I just renew them through the mail?  Why?  Because apparently I subconsciously try to find ways to test my new found patience from all. this. waiting.  Well, it has paid off because I passed the wait-in-line at the BMV and didn't get hostile test.  Yeah for me!  Other things I've occupied myself with while waiting:

1) Bought funky, cool diaper bag

I searched high and low for this!

2) add super hip baby carrier

I'm gonna be a baby-wearing mama and I'm so excited!

3)  I've been working on some other artistic endeavors but those will be debuted later:)

Here are the updates:

NEPAL

The visa rain dance is still working!!  I think it's been on average 4 visas issued each week.  I'm thrilled for these babies to finally be united with their families!  KEEP THEM COMING!!!

The Congo

That's me super excited to send the first of 3 payments along with some major documents needed for my dossier.  So now I'm you guessed it waiting to get the list of the final documents needed to complete my dossier.  Once that's all done, it will be shipped to the Congo and - wait for it- MORE WAITING!!!!!

One Year

So it's been one year since I "officially" started on the adoption journey.  I've been reflecting on the past year and in honor of this anniversary, I've decided to include an "International Adoption in Waiting Top Ten."  Drum roll please....

10.  Time frames don't mean jack.
9.  The government will find any way to charge you and charge you out the wah-zoo.  Since when do fingerprints "expire?"  Aren't we in the 21st century of Technology Candyland?
8.  Speaking of government, they can and will change the rules of the game at any given time.  At your expense.
7.  There are about 50% of people out there who say really dumb things who are in need of a crash course in adoption education.  and a filter.  or a muzzle.
6.  What happened to the wise saying, "It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?"  Oops, refer to #7.
5.  The other 50% of people out there are super supportive, encouraging and carry me in ways they don't even know.  Seriously, I can't thank everyone enough!
4.  Despite how dire my circumstances may seem to me, they don't diminish God's power at all.  For whatever reason, he is allowing things to happen so that his greater good will come to fruition.  Just can't wait to see the greater good!
3.  It can sometimes feel like a boxing match.  Although I've only ever gone 3 rounds, (it's waaayyy harder than it seems!) sometimes I feel like I come out with both arms swinging and other rounds, it's all about staying away from the body shots.  or sucker punches.  I definitely feel like I've been hit with a few uppercuts:(
2.  The more I take my hands off the wheel and surrender to God, the more peace he gives me.  I just need to keep my hands off the wheel!  I'm learning that I'm a terrible back seat driver.
1. God has been faithful to me every step of the way with his unfailing love. He has filled me with peace when I felt helpless, lifted me up when I felt down and encouraged me when I felt like I couldn't keep going.  He has performed some serious miracles along the way which makes me think he's in the process of performing some more:)

I went back through my journal to the first entry when I was praying for some confirmation on whether or not I should move forward with the adoption.  These are the 2 verses he gave me:

"But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently." -Romans 8:25

"If God is for us, who can ever be against us?"  - Romans 8:31

Before this process, I had no idea really what it meant to wait patiently and confidently.  But, I'm learning.  I can honestly say that I have changed A LOT in the past year and I'm very thankful for the changes.  I'm gonna keep on keepin' on 'til those little babies make it home.

Which leads me to the official update:

Nepal

It seems it has been raining visas!  I feel like at least every day or so, another family receives a visa!  The rain dance is working!  I believe the number of pipeline families who are still waiting for visas is in the high 20's.


The Congo

I keep coming back to the verse about how God will make the crooked paths straight and the rough places plain (Isaiah 40:4).  Funny how different these two journeys have been.  I have the majority of the paperwork but not the majority of the money.  I've been picking up every available extra shift I can at my second job.  This has turned me into Sally Super Saver!!  I will say that it's very encouraging and addicting to see the balance going up up and up in my savings account!  I *think* that I will be able to have my dossier shipped to the Congo by the end of March/mid April.  However, please see #10 from the list above;)

Todo el rato que esta enojada, pierde de estar contenta

Those who know me personally, know that I speak Spanish.  The title of this post is a saying that means "All time spent angry is time lost being happy."  I've been trying to embrace this saying the last couple of months.  I've realized that my attitude doesn't change the circumstances so I might as well enjoy each day and enjoy this journey, whatever comes my way.  Now if I could only figure out how to use accents in my blog!

Nepal
Several babies have made it home to the USA and several more have recently received their visas and will be traveling soon!  There are about 41 families still waiting for visa approval.  In all of these investigations, there has been absolutely no evidence of fraud.  Check out the latest article on the investigations: http://www.thehimalayantimes.com/fullNews.php?headline=New+regulatory+panel+in+place&NewsID=274783

What I hope is that when all of the remaining pipeline families investigations are complete, the US government will see that they jumped the gun by implementing the suspension.  My hope is that they will put the new procedural changes into place and lift the suspension.  Up to the point of the suspension, the investigation to prove the child was actually an orphan and deemed legally adoptable didn't occur until after the families accepted the referral, traveled to Kathmandu, and met their child.  The new procedure would be that once a referral is accepted, THEN they will do the investigation.  If the investigation comes back clear, the parents will travel to Nepal to finalize the adoption and receive the visa.  It is still unknown if the suspension will be lifted.


I can't even begin to imagine the trauma, pain, financial distress, and frustration the pipeline families have experienced.  I do think though, that they are paving the way so that more Nepali orphans will have the opportunity to grow up in a family instead of an institution.  I know that I am so thankful that these parents have persevered and not given up on their children.  They are not only fighting for their families, but also for the future of the orphans in Nepal. 

At the end of this month, it will be one year since I officially started my Nepal adoption process.  I was talking to a friend about this and she said to me, "It's crazy how much and at the same time, how little has happened in the past year."  I thought about that a lot because there have been so many miraculous things that have happened: some physical and some intangible.  For example, when I compare my paperwork chase between Nepal and the Congo, it is absolutely amazing to me the timing of how everything came together for Nepal.  I believe full-heartedly that God will bring my Nepal adoption to fruition.  I was reading in the Psalms the other day and came across this verse:

The Lord replies, “I have seen violence done to the helpless, and I have heard the groans of the poor.
Now I will rise up to rescue them,
as they have longed for me to do.”
The Lord’s promises are pure,
like silver refined in a furnace,
purified seven times over.
Therefore, Lord, we know you will protect the oppressed,
preserving them forever from this lying generation.

-Psalm 12:5-7
It reminded me that even though I may not understand everything that is happening, circumstances will never diminish God's power.  Whatever is happening, God has allowed.  He promises that he uses all things for the good of those who love him.  And the most comforting thought as I go through this process?  That God loves her more than I ever could!  I know He has a plan and I'm excited to see how it all ends up coming together.



 The Congo
 
Nothing super exciting to report, except that if I had dreams of  pursuing a life of criminal activity,  those are down the drain.  I'm still tracking down documents for my dossier including the state police background check for the 3rd time.  The last time I did this, it took about a month to get back so, we shall see.  It doesn't seem like it should be that hard since I just did this for renewing my teacher's license and the Nepal adoption.  I am really, really wanting to get everything wrapped up and  *hopefully* have my dossier en route to the Congo by the end of March.  In the meantime, check out the quilt that a friend who used to teach with me made for him!  I LOVE IT!!!!

a close up of the pattern on front

the back- love the animal theme!!

Favorite things to get in the mail....

The Congo
I get so excited when I come home to a mailbox that is holding a letter from the The Department of Homeland Security.  That's right, today I received the I-171h approval for baby boy!!!!!  Things are moving along!  Now all I need is some moolah and couple of documents for my dossier to be complete!  Woo Hoo!!

Nepal
Several families have received visas in the last week!  One family returned a few days ago and another will be home on January 23rd!!  The signatures on the petition are definitely working!!!  THANK YOU to everyone who has signed!  I think that leaves the number at 52 families who are still waiting for visa approval.  If you haven't signed, PLEASE do it!  You are changing the life forever for these children!
http://www.petition2congress.com/3867/bring-stranded-nepali-adoptees-home-now



I've been learning a lot about God's timing.  It's amazing to me to see how he's been working things out and changing people's hearts.  Whenever I start to get impatient, I remind myself that he is working whether or not I can see it immediately.  I'm learning slowly, that sometimes when I think something is a disaster, God is using that situation is ways that really do turn out to be the best.  This verse keeps popping up:


"We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so that you will have all the endurance and patience you need.  And all the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better." - Colossians 1:9-10


It's so encouraging to know that he will provide me with all the patience and endurance I need while he perfectly orchestrates bringing them home!

Filter

Several times I have started to write a post about what I'm going to share.  Then I didn't.  I stepped back to put some time and emotional space between the comments that have been made to me and tried to process them from a mature, give-them-the-benefit-of-the-doubt- standpoint.  I'm sure all of us have had times in our lives when someone says something to you and you think, "did they really just say that out loud?"  But ever since I've started on this adoption journey, it's become blindingly, bright clear that the majority of people don't have a filter.  I know that my family will look different from the typical family- only in that our shades of tan to brown will be different- but it saddens me that still, in 2011, people have issues with me adopting children of a different race than my own.  And not only that it's an issue, but that they feel free to share their comments with me.  Here are some of the things that have been said to me thus far:

- Why don't you just adopt a white infant from right here in Cincinnati?  It can't be that hard.  In fact, why don't you adopt from the orphanage that's right there down on Reading Road?
- Why Nepal?  Why don't you adopt a child from the USA?  There are sooo many kids right here in our own country that need a home.  Why don't you help one of our own? (X's about 40)
- You are so lucky you are adopting a boy from the Congo.  How would you ever do a little black girl's hair?
- Will he be really dark or just kind of milk chocolate dark?
-  How will you know if he has AIDS or not?
-  I don't mean to pry, but couldn't you have any children of your own?
- Wow,  you're going to have TWO children?  How are you going to do it?  That's a lot of work for one person.
- How are you going to tell them that they are adopted?

For those of you who know me personally, let's just say my reaction to these comments have been a lesson in some serious self-control.  On the days when I'm in a good mood, feeling gracious and positive, I love being an advocate for adoption!  Someone needs to speak up for these children and I'm more than willing to do it.  Also,  I know that many people are just curious and don't have the verbal skills to word their questions politely.  I try to take all of these things into consideration, at the same time getting past the shock, and try to answer their questions in a loving, informative way.  That's on a good day.
  But, I am human and sometimes I'm feeling grumpy, or frustrated with the wait, or feeling really annoyed with everything that I've had to do to prove that I'm eligible to be a mom, and the last thing I feel like doing is justifying how I'm building my family and educating the illiterate in adoption P.C.  So, my sarcasm slips through and gets the best of me.  I'm not going to lie.  There is some satisfaction in seeing the shock on their faces when the realize from my response just how inappropriate their questions are.  However, in my heart of hearts, I wish that I could be Susie Sunshine all of the time, giving the perfect answers and said in just the right way.  But I don't.  And I know that when the babies are here, if someone says something to me, I will be like a Pitbull to protect them.  I don't want my children to feel "lucky," or rescued, or different, or second best, or anything that would imply that they aren't loved with every fiber of my being.  My children and I are meant to be a family.  God has been perfectly designing our family, working in ways that have been truly miraculous to bring us together.  My children are chosen and they are loved.  That's what I want them to know.
  One of the requirements I had to fulfill in order to adopt was take a 12 credit hour class that covers everything you could possibly imagine from interracial adoption, nutrition, RAD, attachment and bonding, discipline, etc.  I've learned so much and am thankful for resources I have so that I can answer people's questions in the best way possible.  My goal is to get to the place where I can be a positive ambassador for adoption, one that helps change people's misconceptions.  I also hope that people will not be so quick to blurt out their questions without thinking through how it really sounds.  In the meantime, on the days when I'm not 100% cheery, I think I will follow my mom's advice:  Just look them in the eye and smile.  Sometimes, you don't need to say anything.  Let them figure it out through my silence that what they asked was inappropriate.  But, at least I will be smiling:)