Surrender

The thing about faith is that it's hard. This week was hard. Fighting negative thoughts was hard. Trying to stay positive was hard. Struggling against doubt was hard. This week was a roller coaster ride of moments of feeling very confident that God is going to work it out to moments of feeling complete desperation. About midway through the week I stumbled upon this verse:

"Oh, please help us against our enemies, for all human help is useless. With God's help we will do mighty things, for he will trample down our foes." - Psalm 108:12-13

It was a reminder to me that I have to completely surrender this adoption to the Lord. I feel like I do, then I will find myself stressing out and worrying and I realize that I have not surrendered it. I can honestly say that this has been the most challenging thing I have ever faced in my life. This situation is completely out of my control and all I can do is hope.

The yahoo group I belong to has taken the bull by the horns in advocating for these Nepali orphans. I posted a plea on facebook for my friends to write letters to the Joint Council and the Secretary of State. Thanks to the many who responded!! Many of the group members have done the same so here is a list of people and organizations who have been contacted about this situation:

President Obama

Hillary Clinton - Secretary of State

Former President Jimmy Carter (he has done humanitarian work in Nepal)

The head producer of the Oprah Winfrey Show

State Senators from across the country

Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) (They are a HUGE organization to have on our side)

Justice for Immigrants (founded and run by the Catholic Church)

EACH - Equality for Adopted Children

Various people at the US Embassy and USCIS

We are hoping that we make enough noise to get this situation resolved and the babies in their forever families! The main problem is that the US government thinks there are too many similar stories with the reports of the abandoned babies. Here is some background info so that you can understand fully why all of the stories are so similar. First, it is illegal to have premarital sex in Nepal. A pregnancy is an obvious indicator that someone has engaged in this crime. The women go to great lengths to hide their pregnancies since if found out, they will be deemed "unmarriageable" for life. This is a harsh punishment since the Nepali culture is a Patriarchal society. Therefore, once the babies are born, the women or someone they trust, puts the baby in a place where it will be found. Usually, these babies are days old. By Nepali law, the babies have to stay in the orphanage for 3 months before being able to be considered "adoptable." During this 3 month time period, the government runs ads in the local newspapers about the babies so that the birth parents can come claim them. The women go to great lengths to stay anonymous, therefore; the babies are never claimed. The US government thinks it's odd that the stories are all similar: found baby in textile factory, brought it to the orphanage. Or, found baby in pile of bricks, brought to police station. The US government doesn't have anyone trained in the Nepali culture in place to review these cases. This is very frustrating. So, any reports or information that the orphanage has about the babies is now considered "false" by the US and the investigation starts from scratch. The US is having a hard time not only tracking down the people who found the babies and turned them in but if found, getting them to give information about the baby. Our hope is that the US government will implement a plan that takes into consideration the Nepali culture and the sensitive nature of this problem.

Just this morning, I was praying asking God what I am supposed to do. Is it his will for me to adopt from Nepal? Is this a sign that it's a closed door? Should I continue holding out hope? I can't explain this incredible bond I feel for this baby I have never met. This adds to my confusion. So, I was praying asking that God would make it clear to me if I should continue on this path. This is the verse he gave me, no joke:

"He lifts the poor from the dust and the needy from the garbage dump... He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother." Psalm 113:7, 9

I started to cry and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I am sure that in the days, weeks, months, who knows how long, ahead that I will have moments of doubt. But, I can look back on this, surrender my fear and trust that He is going to come through.